Stephen Colbert Says Trump Is ‘Laser-Focused’ on the Storm (Last Year’s) - Freeverything.com

Stephen Colbert Says Trump Is ‘Laser-Focused’ on the Storm (Last Year’s)


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Hurricane Priorities

Stephen Colbert on Thursday pilloried President Trump for continuing to insist that Democrats have exaggerated the death toll from Hurricane Maria last year.

As the East Coast braced for the arrival of Hurricane Florence this week, Trump repeatedly said that the response to Hurricane Maria was a success, disputing the results of a study conducted at the government’s request that found that close to 3,000 people died in Puerto Rico as a result of the storm.

Colbert said he wished the president would focus more on the task at hand: Hurricane Florence.

“President Trump has been laser-focused on hurricane response this week. Just not this one.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

Colbert added that it would be a better strategy for Trump to stop talking about last year’s storm.

“George Washington University’s Milken Institute of Public Health did a study and estimated that ‘2,975 people died as a result of the disaster and its effects, which unfolded over months.’ And it had been pushed out of the front pages because of all the other bad news about Donald Trump. Then he brought it up again! It’s kind of like he was on trial for littering, and said on the stand: ‘I only threw that cup out of my window because I was distracted by the homeless man I ran over. Pretty sure he died.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

[Make sense of the people, issues and ideas shaping the 2018 elections with our new politics newsletter.]

Jimmy Kimmel also condemned Trump for fixating on Hurricane Maria.

“Trump called the relief efforts there an ‘unsung success.’ Just when you think he can’t go any lower, he enters a limbo contest and wins.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

The ‘Tonight Show’ in Central Park

Jimmy Fallon took “The Tonight Show” to Central Park on Thursday for a special live broadcast, performing outdoors in front of 1,500 people. It was the first time a late-night show had been broadcast from there.

“Of course, tickets for tonight’s show were free, so if you paid for those on the street outside, I’m sorry and welcome to New York City,” Fallon joked. Then he ran down some of the park’s key tourist destinations.

“Let’s take a look at this map. First up, here’s the SummerStage. That’s where we are right now. Next up, here’s a beautiful walking path through the woods called the Ramble. Fun fact, that’s where they find all the bodies on ‘Law & Order.’ Next up, here’s a statue of Alexander Hamilton. That’s the only place in New York City you can see Hamilton without spending a thousand bucks on StubHub. Next up, here’s Strawberry Fields. That’s where every bad guitar player in New York goes to ruin Beatles songs. Of course, here’s the boathouse. Beautiful. That’s where you see two people on a bad date because they can’t leave because they’re stuck on a boat. And finally here’s the Great Lawn — or as New York City dogs call it, the master bathroom. What an amazing place.” — JIMMY FALLON

Trump Confronts Election Meddling?

On Wednesday, Trump signed an executive order that allows his administration to impose sanctions on countries that tamper with United States elections. But some lawmakers expressed skepticism about it, saying that Trump may be using it to prevent Congress from passing stronger legislation.

James Corden, for his part, said he was confused by the news.

“He’s trying to stop election interference? He loves election interference! What’s next, trying to stop bad spray tans and three-cheeseburger dinners?” — JAMES CORDEN

“This is a real change for Trump. Usually when he punishes a foreign person it just means he’s getting married again.” — JAMES CORDEN

The Punchiest Punchlines (Fast Food Edition)

“White Castle has begun selling the ‘Impossible Slider,’ which is an entirely plant-based burger. Which makes sense, because most people only go to White Castle for plant-based reasons.” — SETH MEYERS, showing a photograph of someone smoking a joint

“According to a nationwide customer survey, Americans have named Taco Bell as the best Mexican restaurant in the U.S. Said Mexico, ‘O.K., yeah, we’re ready for the wall. Just do it.’” — SETH MEYERS

“Republicans reportedly believe Trump will soon fire attorney general and Cabbage Patch American Jeff Sessions. This is no surprise: Trump has had major problems with the Department of Justice. Mainly, the justice part.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Bits Worth Watching

Kimmel explored an exciting new trend on the cutting edge of technology: fart apps.

Dr. Phil is pretty good with people’s emotions. But he’s terrible at emo.



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